When given that phrase at the beginning or ending of an instruction, I get a sense of urgency. As though my life might hinge on what has just been, or is about to be said. It means that if you got nothing else out of what I just said, please, please remember this.
Today I was talking with a student who is in one of those We’re-Not-Calling-It-Dating-But-We-Pretty-Much-Are-Just-Don’t-Tell-Our-Parents-Even-Though-They-Already-Know Relationships. You know the one I’m talking about. Usually it’s because the parents of one person involved (Let’s be honest…usually the parents of the girl…) don’t want the daughter to date until they reach a certain age. Which is a great thing.
Anyway, I had recently been giving this student kind of a hard time about it, but she said something today that made me get all serious on her for a minute. I sincerely felt God move me to remind her of Proverbs 4:23
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
I was reminded of a parent who talked about letting their daughter date before they had originally planned to and she said “Sweetie you know you’re probably going to get your heart broke, don’t you?” She answered “Yeah mom, I know.” I don’t think she does. I don’t think a lot of us do.
If we were truly guarding our hearts I think we would put a lot more thought into the things we say and do. And the relationships we enter into. So many of the decisions that we make, and the things we say, and the way we treat others are the result of scars on our heart from when we weren’t guarding it.
I told this student about how I’d spent half of my high school career in the We’re-Dating-But-Not-Calling-It-Dating situation, and I got my heart broken (men’s hearts can be broken too.) In the end I was told I wasn’t good enough. That, among several other reasons, kept me from pursuing any kind of real relationship for several years. And as we were talking, I realized that I am even now in a friendship where I’m not guarding my heart the way I should be, and I’m not advising this friend to do so either.
We discussed the balance of over guarding, and allowing your self to learn some valuable life lessons, and there is one. I’m just not sure what it is. In the book Think Orange that I’m reading with a group of people, they discuss this concept. Reggie Joiner, who wrote the book, says something along the lines of “The tragedy is that we’re actually ok if they [our children] never climb the mountain [experience something for themselves], if it guarantees they never get hurt.” I would love it if anything I said changed this student’s mind, and they didn’t get hurt the way I did. But then, if I had listened, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt and been able to share that experience. I guess we have to ask ourself if the experience is worth the hurt. For some people, they may decide that it is.
Honestly? I’m not really sure what point I’m trying to get across to you. I was just reminded of this principle, and felt like someone else may need to hear it too. Guard your heart. What happens to it will have a lasting effect on things that will come later in your life. But maybe sometimes we have to allow ourselves to get hurt so that we can run back into the arms of our Father. Examine your relationships (romantic, friendships, working etc…), and ask yourself if you’re guarding your heart the way you need to, or if you may be taking advantage of someone who is not guarding theirs.
Have you had your heart broken when you weren’t guarding it? What happened?
