I read an article from the summer 2010 issue of Neue magazine that asked the question “Is the church responsible to find people friends?”
The point the article makes is that, at work, and in life in general, we as people are pretty good at making friends on our own. We gravitate towards people who have the same general interests and likes and dislikes as we do; sometimes to keep it interesting, we make good friends with people who are nothing like us. But. For some reason we as the church feel the need to make sure that everyone is in a small/cell/life/affinity group. We want to make sure people have friends. We want to make people be friends. We don’t however do such a great job of getting people to serve. We get them “involved” or “doing life with” a group of people. But what are they doing? It goes on to make the point that we can accomplish fostering relationships by having people serve together. If we spend more time organizing stronger serving opportunities, people are bound to gather around them, and build relationships with the people they’re serving with. (That’s a mediocre paraphrase of the well written article by Tony Morgan)
People can be in a serving group, and growing with that group of people. They can invest in each others lives with prayer, meals, Bible study. All the same functions are met.
As I read the article, I realized how true it was. When I’ve been at church functions designed to help me “meet new people”, I’ve gone with people I know, and it’s a bit awkward. I might meet one or two people I didn’t know…but probably not. What I do have great memories of though, is people I served with. Students and adults. Some of my best memories are serving on ministry teams, and on mission trips. Some of my strongest bonds are with those people. Because we were doing life together, and working towards a common goal. That work looked different from time to time, but that was part of the fun of it.
So, are you just going somewhere? Do you have a class or small group that you just meet with? What do you guys do? What is your purpose? If you’re not serving by doing something together? Start. Or find somewhere where you can. Plug in. Start serving. Give of yourself. One of the greatest tools of the Devil is to get you to go to church and sit in a pew, and to go to your small group, or whatever you code name it, and sit there, and not. Do. A. Thing.
If you’re on a leadership team? Stop fooling yourself into thinking that people will begin to serve when they feel comfortable in their relationships. People will begin to serve when you give them an opportunity to serve. Ask them to serve. Tell them to serve. Beg and plead with them to serve. Let them know they can serve, or go sit in someone else’s pew. Your job isn’t to make them feel good about coming to church ever Sunday week in and week out for 20 years, your job is to equip them to do the work of the ministry (Ephesians 4:12). Someone told you that your job was to do it all, and that that made you special. They lied to you. Your specific, full time, vocational, call to ministry is no more important than your neighbor’s call to ministry as an accountant or a teacher, save for where scripture tells us that if you are a teacher (speaking of those whose calling it is to teach the word of God) that you will be judged more strictly (James 3:1). Complete shame on you if you have ever made a believer feel as though your ministry is any more important than theirs.
Equip. Serve. Give. Do. Grow. Learn.
Grace and Peace,
David Stippick
